


Some things never change.

by timeisdisintegrating



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Darillium, F/M, Post Episode: The Husbands of River Song, Pre-Episode: s04e08 Silence in the Library, Time baby, time baby fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 04:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5613769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeisdisintegrating/pseuds/timeisdisintegrating
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been so long since he had held a child of his in his arms. He had almost forgotten the feeling of having a small hand wrapped around one finger, a tiny head nestled in the crook of his arm. He realizes he has missed this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some things never change.

**Author's Note:**

> This is post- The Husbands of River Song (so "spoilers" if you haven't seen it)
> 
> I wanted to write a time baby fic so here you are. The child remains unnamed because I don't think I have the ability to try and come up with the perfect name for a child of theirs.

It had been so long since he had held a child of his in his arms. He had almost forgotten the feeling of having a small hand wrapped around one finger, a tiny head nestled in the crook of his arm. He realizes he has missed this. 

There was panic at first. Fear had gripped his heart – how could he raise a child, especially one that only had so long with its mother? He would be alone with this tiny being after only 24 years. He didn’t remember how to be a dad, reckoned he’d probably be rubbish at it. But that all changed when he held her in his arms for the first time. He could do this. _They_ could do this.

* * * * * 

When the child is 10, she looks just 5, and questions everything in sight.

Gallifreyan runs through her veins and you can practically see the regeneration energy in her. She radiates warmth and stardust. She has her mother’s curls, not that he expected anything different. He knew her mother’s space hair would make it into her genes. 

River playfully slaps him when he tells her that, but he only grins and presses a kiss into _her_ curls before he goes to read their little girl a bedtime story. The child is particularly fond of the one about a roman soldier and the big box he mysteriously protects. One day he will tell her who that roman really is.

* * * * * 

At 22, she looks like she is 10, and is clever as hell. She is reckless, just like her mother. She always manages to find some trouble on Darillium and yet she never manages to actually get in to trouble. They can never quite catch her in the act.

One day, he discovers her in the tallest tree in the region, grabbing at some rare plant in the highest branches. He calls to her to come down, and phones River just for some back up. 

She smirks at his demands and continues to reach for the desired plant - a plant that’s worth quite a bit at the local market. But she over reaches on her branch and it breaks and all the sudden she is falling. 

And he is screaming.

She closes her eyes, ready to hit the ground, when she hits something else instead. His arms have caught her but they both end up on the ground. 

He groans loudly and she hastily picks herself up off of him. She steps away asking why he bothered to try and catch her. He looks at her in disbelief and quietly says, “I have a duty of care.” 

She snorts at that and immediately regrets it since his expression turns angry. “What did you think you were doing up there? You could have gotten yourself killed,” he snaps at her. 

“It’s fine, daddy, I’d just regenerate right? It’s no big deal.” 

She doesn’t understand why he is so angry. He had told her before about the time lords and what she was. She knew of regeneration, at least the basics, so he had no reason to be angry if she would just change bodies. It’s not like she was in actual danger of dying _permanently_. But she can see steam practically coming out of his ears and thinks that she’s never seen him this angry. 

“It’s no big deal?” He yells. She takes a step back.

“Do you just think regeneration energy is a never-ending source? You only have so much!” He’s practically spitting fire and she is back-peddling until she hits something solid and turns around to find her mother. 

River looks down at her with a frown while her father continues to throw a bloody fit. “My love, calm down,” River says. 

“She nearly killed herself over a bloody plant, River! A plant!” 

“This is not the way to handle it, dear.”

He stops his ranting and takes a deep breath. 

He looks down to his child, his darling little girl, and for the first time she sees not anger but fear. He approaches her and kneels, taking her small hands in his. “Regenerations are a gift. They are never to be wasted, do you understand me? You are not immortal, and you are not invincible. Keep them, treasure them, and only use them when absolutely necessary. I cannot lose you too.” 

She wonders at the fear and sadness in his eyes and why he added “too”, but she nods and he hugs her tightly. He picks her up and carries her back, regardless of the fact that she, in her opinion, is getting too old for that. But she lets him do it anyways. River trails just behind them, wiping away a tear.

* * * * * 

She is 23 and the world is crashing down around her. 

She witnesses the first sunrise of Darillium in 24 years. It’s beautiful and everything like the stories she’s been told all her childhood. She relishes in the light and wonders how she can possibly wait another 24 years for another sunrise.

She isn’t allowed to wait.

Her mother is taken from her soon after the sun rises. River clings to her child, hugging her so tightly she can barely breathe. “You be good for your daddy, dear,” she whispers to her. 

“Where are you going, mummy,” the child questions. River doesn’t look her in the eye, just continues to hold her. “I’m going away for a bit - just an expedition. I told you mummy was an archaeologist.” 

The child nods but her brow furrows, giving her a striking resemblance to her father. “Then why are you crying, mummy?” River lets out a small laugh, wiping her tears away, “I’m just going to miss you, darling. You know that I love you?” 

“Yes, mummy, I love you too.” 

River detaches herself from the little girl and gives the Doctor a kiss. “Take care of her. No matter how scared, or sad, or angry, you are, don’t you dare ever leave her.” She looks him dead in the eye and he nods. “I love you,” she whispers and he says it back in his native tongue. 

River turns away from him and hugs the child one last time and kissing both her cheeks. She whispers in her ear, “Take care of him while I’m gone, will you?” The child giggles and watches River step out of the doors of the T.A.R.D.I.S.

River never returns.

Eventually he explains to the child that her mother will never come home.

* * * * * 

He spends his nights thinking he will run. The child is old enough to start school on Gallifrey.

The grief that he had pushed down for so many years makes its way to the top. River is gone and he doesn’t know how to continue to raise this child without her. His wife, his dear wife, is gone, ripped from him and now he can only see darkness. He has no will to live anymore. He will send his little girl to Gallifrey where she is safe. Safe from him. He could do nothing but hurt her in the long run and he can’t bear it. His mind has forgotten River’s words to him and he cannot deal with the thought of losing his daughter as well. 

She can live long on Gallifrey.

One night, a small knock pulls him out of his own head.

The door creaks open and the little girl stares at him through the opening.

“Come in, dear,” he says to her and this child, his child, 24 years old and yet still looking only 10, slowly steps in the room, clutching her small bear stuffed animal to her chest. 

Her eyes are wide and her knuckles white and strained on the plushie. “What’s wrong?” He sits up quickly, taking in her expression. She stands there for a moment, choking on the words she is trying to get out. “I know you said to be brave, daddy, but,” she struggles and tears start to fall down her face. “I miss mummy.” 

The child starts to cry in earnest and he gets up quickly and scoops her into his arms. He takes her back to the bed and she curls up next to him. “I miss her too,” he whispers into her hair, his own tears starting to fall. 

She eventually quiets and falls asleep and he makes a pact with himself right then and there while she sleeps in his arms. He will never leave her. 

She will be his constant companion for as long as he lives. 

* * * * * 

Years down the road, an accident will happen and she will regenerate. Everything about her appearance will change besides one thing. The Doctor will laugh out loud at the golden curls that still frame her face.

Some things never change.


End file.
